Updated: Mar 4, 2021
We all just want to belong. We want to feel protected and loved.
Fun fact: In second grade I literally hid my face in class. I put as much hair in front of my face as I possibly could, so I could feel safe. (If only I had a mask back then!) Safe from judgment, and safe from criticism. I felt in control, or so I thought at that moment. In my little bubble, I couldn’t be hurt in any way.
Talk about major self-esteem issues! I hated my voice, face, clothes, personality, and there was not much I liked about myself. I felt worthless. I never knew what to say. Therefore, I barely spoke, which continued for many years.
I remained silent when someone called my name if they were outside my circle. It’s not that I didn’t like them, but knew they probably didn’t like me anyway. In my book, less talking meant less pain. When someone got too close to me, I flinched. I was beyond paranoid, had trust issues, and my little anxious body couldn’t breathe. Why would they try talking to me? Would they potentially make fun of me or be mean? What if they didn’t have an agenda? What if they were just trying to be nice? Oh, the things we have to go through to learn and grow... We are our own worst critic. People simply are NOT judging us the way we think. We aren’t thinking of all the ways we dislike someone or look down on others for superficial reasons.
Permission to breathe.
Even if our weight fluctuates. Even if we do or don’t wear makeup. Even if we act silly. Even if we feel unlovable. Even if we have to first heal our deep wounds. Even if we are naturally shy. Even if we say the wrong thing. Even if we make mistakes.
Permission to breathe.
The best tool we can gain is confidence. To shine through after pain. No matter who brings us down, or what obstacles we face, we can conquer the world with the right mentality and heart. We can begin to breathe a little easier, knowing we have our very own built-in safety mechanism.
How do we show up for others? Make every conversation gorgeous and green, filled with amazing insight, meaningful words, and thoughtful questions. Make every word count. Take one day at a time. Healthy communication is essential.
Showing our true selves authentically is the most beautiful thing we can do. With loved ones, instill safety, stability, love, warmth, trust, and openness without judgment or fear. It’s funny how before talking meant the end of the world, extreme anxiety, and the potential for disaster. Now, talking means growing. Talking means sharing. Talking is healing. Talking is like breathing.
Let's give ourselves permission to breathe. To give ourselves a clean slate. To be ourselves, freely without hesitation. We don't have to hide anymore.
Love, Kimberly Ann