Making plans in today’s world without anxiety almost seems laughable at this point. It’s an up and down rollercoaster with so many moving parts, especially when it comes to the ultimate life-changing and life-defining moments such as getting married.
I often imagined a big wedding with everyone I knew and loved in one room, all simultaneously. Of course, that was before I realized how expensive weddings were.
After all, when’s the only time in one’s life that happens, besides weddings or funerals?
I also imagined my dream honeymoon.
What would it look like?
How would we afford it?
Who would be the lucky guy?
When I thought honeymoon, I thought of pure bliss perfection on a tropical getaway.
I also imagined my career and doing something I loved doing while making an impact.
Doesn’t that all seem a little too perfect?
We all have a vision, a dream, and hope for what we want for our lives. But, as we all know, things never go to plan.
How do we move on and fully accept our reality?
Well, I am still figuring that out, but I genuinely think we can still keep our dreams alive, logically. Yes, even during COVID and all the other unknowns thrown into the mix.
Speaking of which…
We officially just cancelled our honeymoon. We planned to go to Florida, which seemed like a reasonable option a few months ago, literally flying out around noon the day after our wedding. However, with everything going on in the world, and financially with buying a new house, it just wasn’t meant to be. The stress, worry, and concern wouldn’t be worth it for something as carefree and sacred as a honeymoon.
I was bummed.
I was angry.
I was sad. I was confused.
Why did I let myself get so excited for nothing?
What was “our plan” now?
I spent months figuring out the perfect dresses, outfits and envisioning my toes in the sand, looking at the perfect ocean sunset on the gulf coast with my new husband.
The phrase “everything happens for a reason” replayed in my head, and I just wanted to scream.
Quite honestly, I thought:
“Am I just supposed to be miserable my whole life? Was this my destiny since nothing ever has gone my way?"
I then thought of a more optimistic quote to ingrain in my brain:
“We can always pivot and turn our changed plans into something beautiful, an evolved version.”
A changed location, a smaller timeline, smaller guest count, etc...
Sometimes we need to go with the flow, especially under the worst, hectic circumstances.
We need to remember the big picture, not the million details and choices in-between.
I sympathize with everyone going through a hard time medically, financially, emotionally as this world gets heavier and heavier.
I hope we all see the big picture instead of what divides or blinds us.
Perhaps our hard decisions protect us.
Perhaps it’s not a punishment.
Perhaps things ARE still meant to be.
Perhaps there is still good in the world trapped under evil.
Maybe our detour is an invitation towards something greater.
Let those thoughts ignite hope with every hard and unexpected battle.
Our visions for once-in-a-lifetime moments are valid, but we can transition our hearts from perfection to a place full of purpose. With that purpose, we can let passion turn and burn with another new flame.
In the end, there still will be goodness.
There still will be meaning.
Love can still win.
Even on our loneliest days…
God is still with us, forever and always.